When my children were little, I always told them, "You are successful if you can support yourself. It doesn't matter if you are the president of the US or a garbage collector, if you can make your own way, you are successful." In hindsight, that was me describing being a successful mother. It's the job of moms to give their children the tools they need to make it on their own. Let's face it, we moms won't be around forever. Yes, we're here longer than we were in the 1900's due to medical advancements and nutrition, but we still will leave one day.
But as I get older, I see success in so many other ways. Sometimes, like now, I see it in my writing. I've accomplished a goal, to create 20 children's books with Jazzy as the star. Yeah Me!
If you measure that success only in terms of reaching a goal, then, of course, it's a terrific milestone.
If you look at it from another perspective, "How much money do I make with my books?" then I'm a total failure. I do not make enough money on my books to sustain myself.
So how do you measure success? There is no tool to buy at Lowes that can do it for you. You have to determine what it is for yourself. For the baby, taking the first step is a success. For a young child, reading their first word is a success. For a teenager, it might be that first kiss. (Of course, we moms hope that's later than sooner.) For seniors in high school, it could be just getting out.
The pattern in all of these tiny success stories is that someone has reached their goal. The problem, as I see it, is that when we become "adults" our goals become harder to define or life defines them for us. For the writer, do we define success as finishing our first chapter, finishing our first complete manuscript, finding a publisher, the finished product, or the royalties we receive? There is no right answer, you have to pick the one that's right for you. Beware you don't choose a goal that is so far off in the distance, you might lose your way.
In the end, you, and only you, can determine whether or not you are successful. To me, it can be as simple as, "I didn't feel like getting out of bed for whatever reason, but I did it." or "I have to develop a long-range marketing plan, work at it each day for three hours, and not stop until I hit a million books sold." (wishful thinking, I know.). But you see, the first goal is doable. It's an instant affirmation that I have achieved something. The second goal is so far out of my reach, that in the attempt at making it, I am easily sucked into thinking that I am on the wrong path, that I don't know what I'm doing or that I suck and should just quit.
So when you find yourself thinking those negative thoughts, step back and look at your goals. Perhaps you are reaching too far? Perhaps, you need to change the trajectory? You can even step away from that goal and fill a few days with smaller, more achievable ones to build your self-confidence back. I like the goal of, "I am going to sit in the shade on a warm day and do nothing." That's harder than you think, but sometimes, a worthwhile goal.
So what is success? Success is reaching your goals. Whether they be short-term or long-term is up to you. They can be personal, "I'm going to finish cleaning the house today." or professional, "I'm not going to think evil thoughts about my boss." Whichever way you define your goals, you are the measure of their success.
Note: I stood by the fence taking photos of all these cows, but they were ignoring me. My goal was to get a photo of one of them looking at me. It took about an hour of standing and waiting, but finally, this guy got curious enough to give me attention. Goal achieved.
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