I Am Fake

Don't let this poem fool you. I am not depressed, but at any moment in time, I can recall all the thoughts and feelings of darker days. Sometimes still, these thoughts float around my head. I am not depressed. I don't need a doctor or intervention, just need a way to let the thoughts run away.

People think I am strong, but I’m not.

I am a fake.

I live my life by black and white rules which don’t pertain to anyone else.

Rules change.

They change when I need them to.

I help anyone who needs it so they can’t see the hole I’m digging myself into.

If someone extends a hand to me, I firmly shake it.

The pumping sends daggers to my soul.

Another face.

Another friend.

Are you really my friend?

Do you really want to get to know me?

What do you want from me?

I am strong like an eggshell.

My skin keeps the squishy, liquid inside.

One roll and splat, my patience is gone.

I explode.

Temper, temper, keep it hidden.

Don’t tell anyone how you really feel.

I am a fake.

Full of great sayings about how great life is in this big great world.

I don’t believe any apply to me.

My rules.

Don’t let anyone close.

They will see the empty glass.

The sludge will scare them.

It runs red.

I am a fake

People think I’m strong but I’m not.