"What? You don't like what I wrote?"

The hardest thing for me to learn is taking criticism. I mean, my writing is perfect, right? My writing is from the heart and therefore is awesome. Well, as awesome as it is, other’s need to be able to read, understand or get some reaction from it.

If you are asking for a critique from a professional editor, publisher or other experienced writer, then you should probably give their words some serious consideration. It's why they do what they do, because they are good at it and know what the market will tolerate.

But when you get criticism from your family, from peers, people you meet in a shared writing class or a stranger on a social platform, that's a little harder to tolerate.

Unfortunately, some people do not know how to offer criticism, namely me…it is something I'm working on. Normally I’m very blunt…I’ll let you know if something is bad by telling you “That sucks” but what I really mean is, “Your ideas are great, but the words you choose don’t speak to me.”

For the person offering criticism, there often is some element of truth in what they are saying. How relevant that is to your objectives and how much you decide to let them sway your writing is up to you. Your response options are:

1. Totally ignore them… they don’t matter.

2. Try to understand WHY they would say what they said. Is it because they don’t like you and will hate everything you do, or is it because they are so far removed from your target audience that they could never understand what you wrote.

3. Really listen to what they are saying, acknowledge that they spoke and keep quiet. Try to find some element that you can clasp onto and look deep into yourself to see if there is any grain of truth to what they are saying. My daughter recently told me that I don’t listen; that I always start in with advice before she’s done telling me what’s wrong. I never realized that all she wanted was for me to listen. She said, “Mom, I don’t want your advice, I just want you to listen.” Smart girl, my daughter. I’m working on that. Back to what I was saying, when you hear this unsolicited advice, realize that you do not have to respond to it.

4. Evaluate the speaker’s normal conversational patterns. Perhaps they are blunt…like I am, lack tact and don’t know how to say constructive words without a negative vibe. “Don’t eat that worm” would be better said as, “Grubs are better for you.” It makes a world of difference to the listener how it comes out, but basically you are saying that worms are not good to eat. Perhaps the person offering the words is more like the “Don’t eat the worm” person. Rewrite what they said it in a positive way… then listen to what it says and evaluate it.

5. Finally, the one we all hate to realize, that maybe, what we wrote is not good. But this does not mean it’s the end. Maybe there is something missing. Maybe, just maybe, you need to edit, add things, take things away, fly in another direction……

There will always be people who disagree. There will always be people who hate. There will always be people who are jealous and say mean things. It’s your job to find the strength to believe in yourself, pass by these types and move on with your goals.