I thought I knew better,

I thought I knew better, but I was wrong and it took a duck to show me that.

Part of being in the Society of Women Who Care for Ducks, is caring for a duck. Gertie gets passed passed on to every new member to learn the rules of the society.

Never chase a duck.

Never feed watermelon to a duck.

Never find a friend for a duck.

Never lead a duck to water.

I came flying into this organization trying to change everything, but Gertie showed me. You see, I thought Gertie was fat and needed to run a little more so I shooed her away. Well, Gertie is a demon and turned around and bit me.

Did you know that some foods cause diarrhea in ducks? Yep, I thought Gertie needed a more balanced diet, hence the watermelon, but when Gertie decided to turn my porch rug into poop quicksand, I learned that ducks are fine eating corn and peas all the time.

Don't get me started on my high horse about needing friends. First, I tried bringing in another duck. Poor Agnes. To give her credit, Agnes never gave up. She put up with Gertie's hissing, feather pulling and biting for several days before I realized the error of my ways. Agnes loves living at the farm now, but Gertie will forever be by herself and I think she likes it that way.

Gertie loves water, but only in her pool. This I learned the day I took her to the pond down at the park. "Ducks love water!, Right?" well, ducks love their own water, at least Gertie does. I took her there and placed her in the shallows and you'd think I fed her to a wolf. Her feathers puffed, her tail wagged like a boat rutter, and the hissing would have put Pavarotti to shame. She ran from the water and, of course, not to me, but right to the busy street. Traffic stopped and people got out of their cars to help. In the morning, the paper headlines said, "How many tourists does it take to catch a duck?" Turns out the answer was seven.

The rules are there for a reason. It turns out that I thought Gertie was a duck. She looks like a duck, she quacks like a duck, but she's not just any old duck. She's a Muscovy duck and while she's docile and affectionate to people, she's demanding and hates other ducks. So when you join something new, and they set forth a few rules, perhaps you should try to figure out why they're there before you go changing them.